More on how we got here ( Originally posted on "The Nest" Adoption Board

DH and I decided on adoption back in April after 4+ years of T-TTC. We have been married for 5 years and I threw away my BCP's the night before our wedding. I had a m/c before DH and I were married, while we were dating, so I had no reason to think we could not conceive. I was in my late 30's when it happened and my MD said "not to worry" that he had women in their 40's get PG "all the time".

So when after a year of TTC with no luck , I went back to Dr. "Blow-Sunshine-Up-My-Ass" and found out my FSH was in the high 50's. Why he never tested me when at 38, I told him I was getting married and wanted kids is beyond me. He did not even have the balls to tell me about my results...he had his receptionist deliver the blow for him!

After 5 RE consults and so much blood work, ultrasounds, tons of meds to lower my FSH ( which actually caused blood clots in my leg up to my groin!) and injectables ( Cetrotide + Lovenox to prevent more clots) I ran out of insurance. I work for a major Northern NJ Medical Center and only have $10 K for IF treatment. I ran thru that in less than a year, and it is a lifetime cap.

DH and I hit a HUGE stumbling block at that point, as we were both going thru so much pain and anguish, we almost called it quits on our marriage. I was very un-lovable at the time, and so was he. We decided our love was worth fighting for and sought professional help and decided that we wanted to be parents first and formost and that biology didnt matter all that much.

We consulted with our adoption lawyer in April and actually entertained, quite seriously, the option to do a donor egg cycle, but after being turned down for every type of financing available, including a second mortgage, I began to panic. My fear was that if we emptyed out our 401B, which was the ONLY option we had left, and they cycle failed....we would be financially screwed in the future and would have no resources to adopt.

I called my attorney and she talked me down off the ledge and suggested that we get set up for adoption. I somehow managed to break the $3,000 egg donor consultant contract we signed earlier that this year, and here we are, homestudy approved and car seat ready!!!